Grocery Store Woes

I had something happen to me tonight that I’ve never experienced before. I made a quick trip to HEB, my local grocery store. I just went in for a rotisserie chicken, an onion, fresh mushrooms and some frozen stir-fry veggies. I get to the rotisserie chicken carousel and it’s nearly empty. Reason being: they had a $2 coupon on them. So I grab an Italian Herb one, put it in my cart and off I go to the frozen veggie dept. Of course –and you know how this goes: you go in for one or two stupid things and come out with twenty, right? So on the way to the veggies I stop off to see if they had any Cod (that’s the closest we can get to Haddock out here in Texas). Then I make my way up to the registers and I’m unloading my cart. I got everything out. But wait. Where’s the chicken? I’m standing there, looking back and forth from the register conveyer belt to my cart with  what I’m sure is a very perplexed look on my face. And I just said out loud, “Somebody took my damn chicken!” The cashier looks up at me. “What?”

“SOMEBODY. TOOK. MY. CHICKEN!”

Someone actually reached into my cart and stole my chicken! Can you believe that?? It wouldn’t’ve been so bad if that hadn’t been the main thing that I went to the store for! See, it was probably that $2 coupon deal and there were hardly any chickens left and I think I got the last Italian Herb. Somebody must’ve really wanted that particular spiced chicken. The cashier and the baggers were all commenting about it and my cashier says “You’d be surprised at what people do to get what they want in here.”

Well, I should say so!

So later this evening, I was talking to my mom on the phone and I was telling her about it. I get to the part, “Somebody took my damn chicken!” and I guess that just tickled her funny bone because she cracked up. One of those crack-ups where you laugh so hard you can’t talk or breathe for a minute. (Mom and I have lots of those).  So then she says, “Well, I had my own incident at Food Lion today.”

“Seriously? What happened to you?”

So she starts telling me about how Blue Bunny ice cream was on sale and it was Buy 3, Get 2 Free, or something like that, and she’s standing there trying to decide what flavors to choose. All the sudden this man behind her says, “How long are you going to stand there?”

And for those of you who know my mom, you can hear her saying this: She said, “Well, I don’t know. As long as it takes me to make up my mind. And that may be tomorrow.”

Well, this guy apparently didn’t have a sense of humor and he just walked away. So mom finishes up, turns to him and says, “There you go. It’s all yours Crab-ass.”

And then she tells me, “That really pissed me off. I cursed all the way through the store the rest of my trip bitching about that old bastard.”

Like Mother, like Daughter. I come by it honestly, that’s for sure…