A is for Apology

 A Letter of Apology to My Rainbow Bridge Pack

AIn case I didn’t tell you when we were together, although I’m sure I said it a hundred times, I want to apologize for what you had to endure in the first part of your life. I’m sorry that you saw that worst in mankind. I’m sorry that you weren’t appreciated for the amazing beings that you are. I’m sorry that you weren’t shown love or kindness. I’m sorry that you were viewed only as a way to make money at the racetrack. I’m sorry that they tossed you aside when you didn’t “grade” into the racing life. I’m sorry that, after you ran your little hearts out in all those races and did the very best you could, they got rid of you because you didn’t bring in the money to line their greedy pockets. I’m sorry that, when you did win time and time again, they pushed you even harder and made you run and run and run until you were sick with exhaustion. I’m sorry that when you were injured, they left you to suffer in pain, unattended and without vet care for days. I’m sorry that when they were done with you, they didn’t care enough to send you to an adoption group. I’m sorry that they passed you off to some mean stranger who threw you into the back of a hot trailer to be transported to an underground racing ring run by cold-hearted criminals who treated you even worse than you were treated when you were with your trainer. I’m sorry that they fed you little, if at all, almost to the point of starvation, and used a live rabbit as prey to entice you to run while they cheered and placed bets. I’m sorry that they left you to fend for yourselves when they were done for the weekend, leaving you with hardly any food and just one bowl of water. I’m sorry that when the police found you, you were so weak you could barely stand and had to be carried to safety. I’m sorry that until that time the only thing you knew of humans is that they were a species that uses and abuses.

I hope that when you finally found your way to me that living became an exciting experience that you looked forward to every day. I hope that I made you feel safe and secure. Instead of feeling used, I hope that you felt special. I hope that you enjoyed the little excursions we used to take…the walks through the neighborhood, the playdates with other greyhounds just like you, the long rides in my truck where you stuck your heads out the window the entire time, and the occasional trip through the drive-thru where you got some surprise delectable treat. I hope that you enjoyed the time we shared snuggling on the couch, watching guilty-pleasure dramas and action movies. I hope you liked all the stuffies and rope-toys and the tennis balls that you chased in the yard. I hope that you liked all the lazy days you spent laying around, anyplace you chose, basking in the sunshine that came through the windows. I hope you liked that every night you got the majority of the king-size bed and were able to stretch your long lean legs out as far as they could stretch.

More than anything, I hope that you felt loved…because you were so very, very loved. I hope that you realize how grateful I am to you for loving me, for loving me every single day, without conditions. I hope that you know how incredibly lucky I feel to have shared my days and nights and months and years with you. I hope you know what a blessing you were to me. I hope you know how often I thank God for bringing you into my life. I hope you know how much I miss looking into your soulful eyes. I hope you know how deeply I miss you each and every day. And I hope you know that I know you are still with me in spirit and that I can feel you every time a breeze brushes against my face.

I hope you also know that I know you are waiting for me up there and that we will all be together as a family again someday. For now, my dearest friends and loves of my life, please continue to visit me in my dreams. Until we meet again, know that I love you with all of my heart and soul. Forever and always, your mama.

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Copyright © 2014 Michele Truhlik. All Rights Reserved.

6 thoughts on “A is for Apology

  1. So beautiful, thanks so much for sharing your sorry, I felt every word and know they will be waiting on the rainbow bridge when it is your time to see them again. Thanks for popping by my blog, I am grateful for your words.

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    • Oh thanks Kelly! It was a nice surprise having someone stop at my last year’s (2014) A-Z! I had forgotten what I did last year! I went ahead with a theme this year (music of the 60s/70s) but last year chose not to do a theme and I had a really good time having the freedom to write about whatever moved me at the moment. Thanks so much for taking the time to read my letter. Much appreciated!

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