True to Form…

If you saw my post the other day about Funny Tee Shirt Sayings, you saw that my favorite is “I’m a lady with the vocabulary of a well-educated sailor.” True to form, I have to start my new post with this sentence:

I fucking hate mosquitoes, those pestilent little bastards! mosquito I have literally been eaten alive by these aggravating little buzz-kills. The last three days have been absolutely miserable and the itching is maddening. It has brought me to points of desperation as just about every hour last night I was awakened by the intense itching. In an effort to not come unhinged, I tried almost every remedy that I could find on the internet. mosquito-bite-1-3_med_hr

I poured isopropyl alcohol on my legs and feet. I made some black tea and rubbed cold tea bags all over my body. I turned the bedroom into a salad bar as I rubbed myself down with apple cider vinegar. I swiped some Listerine mouthwash from the master bathroom and poured that on a soft washcloth to soak the wounds. I rubbed wet aspirin tablets on the bites. I tried a saltwater and baking soda paste. I even dabbed globs of Pepsodent toothpaste onto all the swelled mounds.

Fun mosquito

Today I rubbed raw potato slices all over my legs. I made compresses out of cold tea bags and taped them onto the worst of the bites. I’m eating Benedryl like candy and taking prescription Hydroxyzine. And after all that, I’m still scratching myself bloody! With all my limbs swollen and raw, I’m almost tempted to go to the damn emergency room to see if they can give me some relief.

Even the rum & cokes aren’t making it any better…

Fucking mosquitoes!    mosquito cartoon

5 thoughts on “True to Form…

    • Hi Eily. Wow, thank you for that fantastic honor! I really appreciate it. I went to the page that was supposed to have the details but it is no longer there. But I do want to thank you for the nomination! That was very kind of you! And thanks for visiting my blog. I love my readers and am absolutely thrilled to know that you like my blog! Have a fabulous weekend.


  1. Ooops!! ! Please pop back over lovely, the post is back up for you. I was housekeeping my posts and pages and got a bit carried away downsizing to mainly writing stuff. My apologies. Enjoy your weekend too, doggy Angel and I have a layzeeee one planned:)


  2. You poor thing! I hate them too and often wonder what God’s intention was in creating them. Never heard of half of those remedies. Nasty little buggers. Hope you’re better soon 🙂


    • It was absolutely crazy. I probably should update the post with the fact that I ended up in the Emergency Room with cellulitis and was on 10 days of antibiotics and anti-itch and anti-infection creams from those damn North Carolina mosquitos — AND THEN came home to be attacked by another whole batch of Texas mosquitos! So I’m itching like crazy again. I need one of those mosquito nets over my bed because I swear they get me while I’m sleeping… Of course the best remedy was the actual prescribed medications plus I used some spray-on calamine but out of the home remedies, the one that stopped the itching the best was the toothpaste, of all things. I don’t recommend it though because it’s quite messy… Fucking mosquitoes! Love ya ❤


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