K is for Kiss

KHow I used to long for your kiss. Your soft lips knew how to speak to my body. Your kiss ignited my soul and set my heart ablaze. kissWe fell in love, though we knew we shouldn’t. All the hours and days and nights spent together turned the heat up on our love, especially those nights in front of the fireplace, the sultry sounds of Motown playing in the background and our love smoldering in the hot embers of our passion.

We knew this couldn’t last, but we were in too deep. The more time we spent together, the harder it got to be apart. We were hooked. And it was so amazing. It scared the shit out of both of us because no way could this last. It was too good to be true.

 

pencil sketch: You're the Best by Naleme

“You’re the Best” by Naleme (c2012-2014)

You used to joke when we’d be out somewhere that people could see us together and know immediately that we weren’t married because we were so happy! That was probably a true statement. We were, after all, living a fantasy. But God, it was an incredible whirlwind. 

 

And then reality hit. Like an unanticipated tornado. I’ll never forget that night. You paged me, I pulled over to use a pay phone on the side of a downtown street. It was misting rain but I didn’t care. I dialed and you picked up the phone. I think you started the conversation with “I’m sorry” and I knew. I felt a pit in my stomach. My hands were shaking. And as if on cue, the rain started to pound harder, just like my heart.

“Why?”

You said you had tried, but when you told them you were leaving your kids cried and begged you to stay. And you said you owed it to them to stay. You had to at least try to make your marriage work.

“So this is it?” I asked.

“Yes.”

I started to cry. I could hear the anguish in your voice. I know you heard the devastation in mine. The rain poured on me and I don’t know which was coming down harder, it or my tears. Alone in the Rain gif (http://i514.photobucket.com/albums/t350/anthonymuthu2008/AloneinteRain.gif) I stood at the phone booth, crying into the phone, while raindrops splattered down around me, just like my world at that moment. I heard you softly say, “I’m sorry” and then you gently placed the phone down on the receiver. I stood there holding the phone to my ear, the rain washing the salty tears from my face, listening to pellets of water pinging off the metal booth and the stinging sound of the dial tone as the finality sunk in. It was almost cinematic, that scene.

I heard you broke your sobriety after that night. And for that I’m so very sorry. I’m sorry for all of it. What a horrible path we chose to walk together, the whole torrid affair. Five lives crushed. I pray for forgiveness in one breath and yet in another I’m remembering that first time. I know it’s you who calls me and hangs up sometimes. I can tell by how gently the phone hangs up. It’s okay. I think of you too. Maybe in another life.

A few legitimate relationships later and I’ve found that I’m much happier alone. I decided I actually hate being in love. Love fucks with my head too much. And that messes with my peace of mind. And that is something I simply can’t tolerate anymore. No way. Peace and freedom – they’re everything to me now.

Although I miss your amazing kiss, the ones I get now are of a whole other kind…and they’re ones that keep me sane. These kisses are way better for me. My heart has never been more full. I guess God forgave me after all.  

dog giving a kiss

-A kiss from Cleo  (me & Cleo 2013)

Copyright © 2014 Michele Truhlik. All Rights Reserved.

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13 thoughts on “K is for Kiss

  1. Honestly, I’m at a loss for words because you brought up so much emotion for me with your post. I feel that when I read your writing, I am living them for the length of the page and then at the end, I’m left with having to pull myself back to this reality. You’re the kind of writer I would pick up sight unseen with each new book/story you publish. You make me feel right there with you and that I was kissed, I got the call, and I was left crying. How does it go—“You had me at hello.” Thank you Michele!

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    • I’m at a loss for words Renata! Wow, what an incredible compliment! Thank you so much. I can’t even begin to tell you how much you just made my whole weekend! Thank you, thank you…

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  2. This was powerful, I could feel every word, like I was living it with you. I had tears in my eyes and a longing in my belly, and I could feel the pain – so poignantly descriptive. And such sweet gentleness at the end. Wow – you expressed so much, so beautifully, in such a short space. Great writing, absolutely loved this! ❤

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    • Thanks Lynn! Thank you so much. It really means alot to hear what people experienced when reading it. Your comments just made me feel so good! Isn’t Cleo cute?? She’s one of my guest dogs and she’ll be here next week. A sweet kisser she is! I was so glad to have that picture to end the story with. Thank you so much for your high compliments: that means the world to me! You know. ❤

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    • Thank you Debbie! So much!! Hey, I’d love to email you and find out more about your dog inn venture. Shoot me an email if you want to chat. I love to talk with fellow dog sitters!

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